Skill or will?
Many moons ago, a mentor of mine asked me a simple question about an issue I had brought to her for counsel:
Is it a skill issue or a will issue?
I had never considered this lens before in first defining the core of an issue before problem-solving for it.
A skill issue means there is a deficit in our actual ability to do something. A will issue means there is a deficit in our desire to do something. Figuring out the true deficit is the most crucial first step in working through something because treating one issue like the other is not only setting up for failure but also inviting a LOT of frustration.
This simple question works for anything:
Why am I procrastinating on this project? Is it that I don’t actually know how to move forward (skill issue) or is it that I don’t want to work on it (will issue)?
Why is this friendship floundering? Is it that we don’t know what the other needs at this time or is it that we don’t want to give what’s needed?
Why can’t I get a handle on meal prep and cooking? Is it that I don’t know how to go about planning a meal or cooking it or is it that I don’t want to do the planning and cooking?
(These are all questions / issues I’ve faced and often the answers have surprised me. And once I knew the real origin of the issue, I could finally make some progress.)
When you have a skill issue, it’s a matter of learning. There is something you don’t yet know how to do and figuring out how to do it will move you through and past the issue.
If it’s a will issue, it’s a matter of desire. And this can be a little more complex. Coming to terms with not wanting to do something is important because you need to know the true motivation (or perhaps, demotivation) going on inside you – and then what to do about it, especially if you “need” to do the thing you don’t want to do.
What’s something that’s had you stuck? If you look at it through this lens, what is revealed to you?
