Sometimes I wonder how any of us are able to communicate with each other at all.  Ever.

With all the things working against us when it comes to communication – different perspectives, varying backgrounds and experiences, language discrepancies, nuances…all these things sometime seem like it’s nearly impossible to get across to each other what we actually mean.

But recent conversations with a friend of mine (shoutout to Bob!) illuminated such a simple and yet evocative way to identify how we might have more clear conversations…

I have a polarized relationship to obligation.  This concept comes up a lot when I’m talking with friends about relationships (of all kinds) and what obligation is in the context of relationships.

I think the word “obligation” has come to mean more than its straight definition.  I have long thought of obligation as something you’re required to do, irrespective of desire.

I feel like the word has started to take on, appropriately or not, tones of “against one’s will” such that obligation has become inherently negative.

Maybe it is and maybe it isn’t.  But either way, I think the FEELINGS around obligation have become largely negative…

I can’t tell you how many books, talks, papers, blogs, and posts I’ve seen over time about CONFIDENCE.  It seems like some crazy code that no one can crack, even as everyone is taking a shot.  I’ve spent countless hours debating it with colleagues, talking clients through it, looking around corners to see where we might find it.

FYI, it’s not in that special outfit or that new haircut or that bumpin’ playlist.  I’ve checked.

Instead, I’ve come to think of confidence as a specific mix of things that, without the various ingredients, cannot be created.  We don’t simply “get” confidence…it builds in us…

My aunt has always been a wonderfully unique human.  I think I didn’t quite appreciated this until I was an adult – when you’re young, you just think your family and the people around you are “normal” and that’s how everyone else’s world is.  But once I moved outside my childhood bubble, I could start to see all her interesting ways and manners and the things that influenced me from early on…

By the time this comes out, the summer solstice will have passed.  Summer to me is long days, marked with leisure time, reading, later-evening walks while it is still light, iced tea at dinner, bare feet in the grass, and that warm, fragrant smell as the heat picks up and carries the scent of the blossoms and plants in a new way.

And the summer solstice feels like a turning point.

Like that moment we officially move out of spring and start to step fully into summer.  This season of course has its logistical weather aspects, but the psychology of summer is what tickles me the most.  The vibe is different.  There is light (and lightness), optimism, energy, exploration, fervor…

There is a curse high-achievers are well acquainted with:  when we’re stalled on a project, we dig in our heels and respond by…grinding even harder.

Butt-in-seat and GET.IT.DONE!

(Kind of like some of those back-to-the-office policies flying around recently…)

You’d think after years of my own high-achiever-ism, and more years of helping others see through and beyond theirs, I would be well aware of this default and an expert at sidestepping it…

Made popular in 80’s corporate culture (and subsequent office-cliché movies and shows), we’ve all heard that line “Have your people call my people”.  A line usually delivered with a smirk by a self-important suit to someone who rolls their eyes.

It was funny then, but it might also have been a wild premonition.  Fast forward several decades and here we are at the next iteration.  Instead of the suit talking about people, we have hoodies and vests talking about bots.

Soon the saying will be:  “Have your bot call my bot”…

I remember summers as a kid.  It’s almost entirely sense memory now, with only a few clear snapshots of actual events or experiences left intact.  I remember the feel of my bare feet on hot pavement, the cool splash of pool water, playing in the street into the evening (we lived on a cul-de-sac), the warm breeze that rolled up the hill we lived on.

Even just a few extra degrees of warmth this past week kicked all of those memories awake again.

Summer happens every year, so it’s not exactly summer itself that I feel nostalgic for (although I do love the long days, temperate weather, and ample excuses to spend more time outside).  It’s the feeling of life in summer, way back then, that I miss with that particular kind of sweet longing.

The stakes felt so wonderfully small…

I was on a road trip with friends recently and stopped at a VERY fancy gas station store.  Not your typical 400 square feet of chips and soda, but it almost a supermarket sized shop and filled with all kinds of goodies.

Road trips are when I indulge in my guilty pleasures.  It’s when I get the kinds of snacks I don’t normally buy at home.  And I eat them gleefully like a kid who got extra cookies out of the cookie jar without anyone noticing.

I’ve been having a lot of conversations with friends recently about health and wellness.  We often share what we do and while we each have some uniqueness to our rhythms and habits, it generally includes components related to what we eat, how much sleep we get, hydration, and exercise.  And while my road-trip eating habits aren’t well reflective of how I maintain my health, I’m also reminded:

When it comes to health, there are no secrets.  There are no silver bullets.  There are no shortcuts.  The ways to be in good health are widely known – they just may not be the things we WANT to do (like avoiding guilty pleasure treats…)…