The lies we’re expected to tell
“Oh no worries at all!”
“That’s totally fine!”
“Don’t even worry about it!”
We’ve all said these things, right? Usually with a smile, maybe a dismissive wave of the hand. And sometimes we mean them. But sometimes…we don’t. Not really.
When was the last time someone asked how you were and you said something other than, “Good! How are you?”
Because we all know that person, generally, is expecting an answer they don’t really have to listen to. We have groomed our culture to treat this question as a greeting and not a true inquiry of care.
These are all the “little white lies” that grease the wheels of daily life. The fibs we tell so we don’t offend, ruffle feathers, introduce discomfort, or throw things off track.
To the point that we actually expect it. We have created a culture of liars.
Because here’s the deal: telling the truth feels risky.
What if you tell someone, “Actually, it was a problem that you were late,” and they get defensive?
What if you say, “I’m not really up for a chat right now,” and they think you don’t care?
What if you say, “This impacted me,” and they say, “Why are you making such a big deal out of nothing?”
It’s often easier (and faster) to go with the script and keep things moving. Until it’s not.
Because what happens when we keep biting back those tiny truths is a slow, subtle erosion. A little resentment here, a bent boundary there, a nagging inkling that people “don’t get” us, when maybe…we haven’t given them the chance.
This is not to say we should run around throwing truth bombs like confetti, but what if, in that moment before telling that little white lie, we asked ourselves: Could I say something truer?
Maybe the answer is no. Maybe “No worries!” is the right thing for that moment. But maybe, sometimes, the right thing is a gentle truth.
