Facts or feelings?
Sometimes I wonder how any of us are able to communicate with each other at all. Ever.
With all the things working against us when it comes to communication – different perspectives, varying backgrounds and experiences, language discrepancies, nuances…all these things sometime seem like it’s nearly impossible to get across to each other what we actually mean.
But recent conversations with a friend of mine (shoutout to Bob!) illuminated such a simple and yet evocative way to identify how we might have more clear conversations.
Are we having a facts conversation or a feelings conversation?
It seems like an odd question, but when you really think about it, this might be at the very root of most, if not all, conversations.
How many times have you been in a conversation where you’re pointing to what seems obvious, logical, and specific, and it’s just not getting you anywhere? Or maybe the other person is doing just that and you’re thinking, they’re just not hearing me!
It’s because sometimes one person is in the mode of facts, and the other is being driven by feelings.
And if you don’t notice it, you’ll go ten rounds before you both drop dead of exasperation.
So maybe, just maybe, next time you’re in the middle of round three, you’ll stop and think – hang on…what kind of conversation are we actually having right now?
